on set

This morning I stepped inside my high school's rivalry, Mountain View High School; but I was actually quite excited to be there. I was getting ready to play Amy, in the movie called "The Last Eagle Scout". Sounds like a cheesy mormon movie right? WRONG. Not at all. Not mormon. And not cheesy. Well at least I hope it doesn't turn out cheesy:) But I was SO nervous. See, I'm an actor right? But I don't know diddly about film. I am super comfortable on stage. I'm an expressive energetic person and that is perfect for the stage....but film? No. My face moves way too much for the camera, so I was nervous to even have to do this small part. I didn't know what to expect. I was told to bring some ideas for costumes and I only got the script 2 days before. So I just felt very inexperienced and nervous walking into the large cafeteria at MV. As the day went on and people were powdering my face, spraying my hair, and fixing my lighting, I got more used to it. I gained confidence quickly as I tried to meet as many people as I could, and tried to get my name out there. What an experience! I mean I was on set with people who have done lots and lots of film. I feel priveledged that I was able to be among them and learn from them.
I was playing Amy, the selfish brat of the school. Everyone else wears black button up shirts and black pants, you'll notice my outfit is very diva. Haha. I was so worried everyone wouldn't like me in real life. But it didn't take them long to realize the giggly girl dressed as the snobbish Amy was actually normal and not like that. The craziest part of film is the repetition and time it takes. For a 5 minute scene I was there from 8:30-3:30. Long time. And I can totally see how people become method actors-especially in film. You are involved in a scene all day and have to emotionally stay there all day. Its very different from a play. I still don't think its healthy, but I see how it could happen very easily. I also saw many "divas" on set. Ya. No matter how pampered I am, I never ever want to be like that.

Overall it was a great opportunity and I am so grateful for the experience. I love when I can be a sponge and just learn like crazy. I thrive off those kind of situations.

So would I try film again? Its different. The actors are different. The environment is different. And the stage really is my home and first love. But I wouldn't be opposed to having more experience. I was intrigued with the tedious process.

Ceiling Fan v. Jessica

Tall people should be able to empathize with me on this one....when you walk in to a room with low ceilings and just to make it better there are ceiling fans. Yep. When your making a bed and you raise your arm to lift the sheet and....WAMO! ya. Ouch. So this is what I'll look like for the next 2 weeks. Never realized how much I need both of my arms. For instance typing this is a lot of fun. So I'm stopping.

Confessions of a White Girl:

The Jet Girls. They are white, snobby, and not in the show. Why? Well it just doesn't seem right that the so COOL Jet Boys' girlfriends don't have a song or more stage time to develop their character. I know many people are highly interested in this, if the White Girls were given a song what would it be about?

I believe it would go something like this:
Why do our boys always leave us to fight? We want more time and attention. And that stupid Anybody's always trying to steal our affection! You have to hate those spics for taking our boys away from us, We don't want to make a fuss Well maybe we do :) We Jetties have to stick with each other Cuz those boys leave us for everyone but our mother...s We got sparkle and spunk! Who needs those hunks Just blame those Spics But we gotta find where we belong.

*Ya wow! I am a talented lyricist. I bet you would never guess I just made that up! And I could totally do the whole song and dance for you, but I believe that would have to be something special in person :)*

I'm hoping that NY is interested in just inserting this in the Broadway show as soon as possible. Because I am positive so many people wonder- What about the white girls?

Outfit Choices

I don't put too much thought into what I wear everyday. Especially since I work at 7, and I could care less what I look like at that time of morning. So who would ever guess that my clothing choices were somehow emotionally connected to me....Well I only have one days worth of photo documentation, but I dress Sam in the same colors as me every morning. Not on purpose. And today was especially bad! About mid-afternoon I realized we were wearing the exact same thing. The weird thing is I realize the matching clothes each day at the end of my shift and never realize it again til the same time the next day. I just think its so weird that I actually have a reason subconsciously for what I'm wearing, because I wouldn't just choose the same thing twice a day if it didn't mean something. Crazy Sauce. This is really interesting to me. I want to know why I do this. Why do I choose what I'm gonna wear, and then put Buddha in the same thing??

(I can't post pics of the people I take care of...stupid laws)

mom

Families can be together forever. I would die if I couldn't be with my mom and family forever. Today is my beautiful moms birthday. She has sacrificed so much for my family. I love her more then words can express. She is my best friend, and I hope one day I could have the strength she does. She is an amazing example of hope and enduring to the end. I love you mom. I love the example you set for our family. During this test of our faith you are a great example to us kids. You have taught us that relying on our Father in Heaven is what matters most. I am so grateful for that mom. I rely on your strength and knowledge so much and your friendship and guidance has helped me get through each passing day. Although I get frustrated about your passion sometimes, I admire your zeal for life. I admire that you stand up for what you believe in, thank you for being an anchor for our family. I know this will be a very different birthday, but I hope somehow I can make it a little better. I hope somehow I can relieve some stress and pressure and help you today. I LOVE YOU!!! I always will. I wouldn't be who I am with out my incredibly amazing mom. So if you love me or even just kinda like me, then you have to appreciate my mommy. I hope when I am a mom I am able to love and protect my kids like my mother has done for me. I am so excited to be a mom and hopefully be a strength to my kids like she is to me. I know one thing for sure. My kids will know how important family is. My mom KNOWS whats important in this life. Families making it back to our loving Heavenly Father.
Happy Birthday! From your oldest daughter who loves you more than she can express.

chad

Chad just got home from his mission 3 weeks ago, and man is he a stud!! We instantly reconnected and I'm so excited that he is moving up here at the end of August. I love that I can confide in him, tease him, and restrain :) him haha! So here are a couple pics of us from his visit this weekend. He is such an anchor and amazing example and I'm so so grateful for him. Did I mention I love this kid?








































Now no one get offended. I'm gonna start doing random dedications for all my favorite people in the world...so just wait your turn in line :)

freedom

God Bless America Land That I LOVE
Stand Beside her and guide her
Thru the night with the Light from above
From the mountains
To the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God Bless America my Home Sweet Home!

I love America. I am grateful for our founding fathers. Those men were inspired by God, and because I believe all this, I participate in Ellis Island's Cries of Freedom show. Where I get to express on stage how much it means to me.

daddy

How do I sufficiently tell my dad on one day how much I love him? There is something about a daddy-daughter bond that can't be described. I'll always feel so connected to him. Maybe its because he was my stay at home mommy while I grew up, or we would go kayaking, camping, fishing, hiking, backpacking, and do everything together. Or maybe its because we would sing primary songs while driving in the big blue bus, go to Weinerschnitzel every week after my dance class, or that I was the only child for 4 years. Or that there is just a special daddy-daughter connection that we are lucky enough to have. I love him. What else can I say? Nothing captures the love I have for him enough. But I'll try and share some other memories that are special to me.

When I am sick, dad becomes very protective. He will sit with me for hours to comfort me as I'm throwing up or curled in a ball because of the pain. He is also very willing to give me a father's blessing.

Dad is the most supportive dad I know. He is at everything! You can never question how much he supports his kids, for we know our parents love and support us.

He always tries to teach us how to keep a balanced life. Now that I'm older this has been very beneficial to me. I remember things dad taught me about keeping my life in order and balanced.

Side by side in the closet. 'Nuf said :)

Facebook. "Er what's this box?!"

There's no upside....

Anyways. I love him. I could go on for days. But I just want him to know I love him, and am proud of who he is. He has been through a lot, but I am grateful he has been a fighter and shows everyone around him a great example.

I love you Dad. Happy Father's Day!

Princess Festival

One of my most favorite things ever is being a part of the Princess Festival. Basically all week long we do an interactive show with princesses for little girls for a charity that supports a city in Kenya, Africa. Pretty Awesome! And what else does Jessica need in life? Performing, little girls, being a princess, and helping people!!! Ya its the best :) So here are some of my favorite pics...Throughout the week I was Sleeping Beauty, an Evil Step-sister, and the Blue Fairy (from Pinocchio) who was the tour guide.

*Still waiting for the pics from my dad of me as sleeping beauty and the pics of Adam and I together. That was the other cool part of this whole experience, Adam did it with me!! Yay for sibling bonding! He was the best Peter Pan EVER!!! For those of you who haven't seen Adam in a while, he is growing up. I really love that I've had the chance to spend more time with him.

life

Time seems to pass with more speed as the days go on. I find that having 5 minutes to think by myself is a blessing. I love jam-packing my schedule with lots of good things, but sometimes I want just 1 day to have to catch up on everything and to have for myself. But I doubt that will happen.

I'm sort of on edge and stressed right now. One of the boys I take care of, Thad, only has a few days left in this life. More than likely I will be there when he passes away. There could never be enough words to describe all my feelings about this. Every moment I fear that it might be his last breath. Life is so precious. He has always been so close to the veil. I just hate seeing him fight for every breathe and be in pain. He has stopped eating and drinking and won't take most of his meds. How can I not feel guilty when he passes away? If I'm there I know I will worry I didn't do something right. I worry for his sisters. They are struggling.

Where do I fit? How do I help this experience be a little smoother and how do I provide comfort?

I'm just so grateful and still very stunned that I get to have the opportunity to take care of him in his last days. What an angel. So scary that he could be gone when I go into work early tomorrow morning. I worry that I won't be of enough help to his sisters once it happens.

But all the worry in the world won't help the situation. I just keep a constant prayer in my heart that by the guidance of the spirit I will know what to do.

It reminds me that everyone's life is fragile and I need to let those people I care about know I love them. So if you're reading this....I love you. Honest. Thank you for all that you help me with each and every day.